


the alpha

by Secchar



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M, hopefully a little angsty, if not angsty then a little bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-24 05:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secchar/pseuds/Secchar
Summary: Jongin is The Alpha





	the alpha

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #51: As soon as Jongin became the pack's leader, a dark curse came upon the village. Some say it was meant to be, others say it was the work of the witch (kyungsoo) up in the mountains but only Jongin knows why.
> 
> For the Kaisoo OLAO ficfest

Jongin watches from a distance. His flesh-and-blood is leading his first hunt, a privilege now that he’s presented. An alpha just like Jongin, and thus the next to lead the pack. The wolf elders don’t say anything, but Jongin knows that they look on, relieved, to see the future of the pack cemented. With the human gone, the pack mentality is further strengthened. Jongin himself feels the same relief travelling along their bond, and can’t help the feeling of peace that grows alongside it. The pack will be fine. Despite his failure, the pack will live on. The flesh-and-blood is proof of that.

 

Jongin remembers the first time he saw the pup. He felt something akin to love towards the pup. It was hard not to. The pup was his own flesh and blood and so small. Jongin knew he would rip out the throat of anyone who would dare to even try and hurt him. But he knows just as much that he can’t bring himself to call this pup his. It’s the eyes. He has his mothers’ eyes and Jongin feels guilt harden like a stone in his gut whenever he sees them. This is his flesh and blood, but this is not his son.

 

Jongin watches his flesh-and-blood come out of the forest, a buck being dragged by him and his packmate. Jongin nods, satisfied with the result. His flesh-and-blood is ready to lead the pack. It takes a strong wolf to lead a pack and Jongin is confident that his flesh-and-blood is strong. As if sensing his father’s thoughts, the flesh-and-blood drops the buck and looks in Jongin’s direction.

 

The flesh-and-blood is too far away for Jongin to see his eyes clearly, but he shivers all the same. The tawny eye of his mother now matched with the grey eye of the moon, a sign of Jongin’s promise, Jongin’s failure. It had appeared shortly before the flesh-and-blood had presented, and while the moon grows redder every day, the eye grows whiter. Jongin knows that in three days time, when the moon is full, the eye will be fully white and so Jongin will leave.

 

Jongin can feel it in his bones. They creak and groan like a humans. This is not his pack anymore. He is not the alpha.

 

 

 

 

 

Jongin’s first run as Head Alpha is exhilarating. It’s nothing like he’s ever dreamed. Out front in front of everyone, able to stray from the age-old trails if he so chooses, he is the leader. He is in charge. He is The Alpha.

 

He doesn’t stray from tradition this time. His first priority will always be the pack, and right now he needs to reassure his pack by sticking to the tried and true. His promotion to Head Alpha had been sudden and unprecedented. His father, a man in his prime, was the Alpha before him and had been expected to continue being the leader of the pack for decades until he had disappeared. At first the pack hadn’t been overly bothered by the disappearance. Wolves tend to go off to hide when they’re close to death, and so the pack assumed that their tough, fearless leader hadn’t wanted to worry them and had hidden an illness until the very last moment. It was only when Jongin showed himself to be worried about his father’s disappearance that the rest of the pack grew upset.

 

Jongin growls low in his throat at his mistake. He should have known better than to worry his pack. A Good Alpha doesn’t show anything but confidence even if their father is the one who’s gone missing.

 

Jongin’s paws hit the ground harder as his frustration towards himself grows. He leaps ahead of his pack and sets a faster pace. The full moon is reaching its zenith, exerting its peak power on the wolves. Every wolf can feel it setting their blood on fire. Urging them to give into the primal instincts to run, hunt and fight.

 

Jongin in particular feels the need to give in, and can’t stop himself from whining low in his throat to give the signal for his pack to split into two groups. Quite stupidly, it seems a family of deer have found their way into the vicinity. Quite unfortunately, it seems that the family won’t survive the night.

 

Jongin leads his group to the right so that they’ll be downwind of the family while Yixing leads his group to the left, upwind to chase them towards Jongin. They don’t stand a chance.

 

At the first stench of wolf, a buck leaps away, the rest following, unaware of the trouble waiting for them. It’s over quickly. The deer barely catch sight of Jongin and his group before they leap upon them. Jongin feels the antlers graze his side, the calcified bone just barely free from its velvet. The Moon Goddess, in all her glory, blinds Jongin to the pain, and it’s with a particularly reverent growl that Jongin snaps his jaws through the buck’s throat. Blood fills his mouth and spills out the side. The buck’s life pulses weakly before flickering out. Unaware of his victory, Jongin continues to dig and bite into the carcass.

 

When hunting, a wolf attacks with the intention of killing swiftly, cleanly and only so much as needed to feed. Tonight, the moon boils in their blood. This is a night for ravaging.

 

Scraps of fur, bone and gristle litter the ground as the wolves feast on the deer. Blood paints their muzzles and paws. Snarls, grunts, and growls fill the air until Jongin stands back and howls at the moon. Instantly the rest of the pack tilts their heads towards the sky and howl. They must praise the Moon Goddess for this unexpected meal.

 

The rest of the night falls into a blur. After the meal, the run is more frenzied; the remains of a blood lust buzzes through their bodies. Small fights break out among the wolves as they run, but a quick growl from Jongin brings them back in line. Jongin feels pride swell in his throat; he charges out ahead. He is The Alpha.

 

At dawn, the pack collapses back into their clearing, all of them choosing to stay in their wolf form. Jongin, unfortunately, cannot afford the same luxury, and so drops back into the woods to the shift.

 

There’s a reason wolves stick to one form over the other. It’s painful. Every bone in their body is fractured and splintered to allow for the reformation into the proper skeletal structure. Every organ is melted under the intense change being undergone. The physiology between wolf and human is not similar enough. Everything must break, snap or melt to accommodate the shift. Jongin’s face is frozen in a gaping shriek, wanting to scream through snapped vocal cords.

 

The true curse of the shift is that the wolf remains conscious through the process, an ability granted by the Moon Goddess, so Jongin can do nothing by lie prostrate on the ground as his human body reforms. Mercifully, the moon goddess allows for the eyes to remain intact and untouched throughout the process. Big, tawny eyes stare fixedly at an old oak tree as the transformation finishes.

 

With one last audible snap of his jaw, Jongin is fully human.

 

He lies on the ground for a few minutes to let his body and organs readjust to the form. He takes deep, careful breaths, slowly regaining feeling in his extremities. He wiggles and flexes his fingers to make sure he has full mobility, then his toes and then every other muscle in kind until he’s sure his body is fully functioning. With a bitten-off groan, he slowly eases himself up off of the forest floor. He’s sore from head to toe, but there’s nothing to be done for it. He hobbles back to his pack’s clearing, his muscles slowly remembering how to walk on two legs.

 

Elder Jung greets him at the edge of the clearing, obviously waiting for him, and Jongin can’t help but hope against hope that another wolf hasn’t gone missing.

 

“Alpha, I’m glad you’ve shifted.” Elder Jung, like most elders remains only in human form, choosing to live in the big tent in the center of the clearing and advise young wolves, than live as wolves themselves. The moon no longer calls them like it once did.

 

“Yes, I believe it’s necessary for me to visit the human colonies and look for our wolves,” Jongin explains looking around the clearing. For the most part, all of his pack is lying in groups, cleaning themselves of blood. None of them seem overly anxious or wary. Jongin turns back to the elder, “But surely you weren’t waiting for me just to say that.”

 

Elder Jung frowns. “No, I wasn’t. One of the den mothers told me that she can’t find Taeoh. His scent doesn’t extend past the den, and there are no pawprints to show where he went.”

 

Jongin tries to keep his face straight, but the wolf has no reason to hide its emotions. His eyes flash angrily. If it were simply a matter of a pup wondering off, there would be a scent trail and pawprints. The earth is still damp from a recent rainfall. Even shifting can’t erase the mud caking Jongin’s bare feet.

 

“Have you told Taeoh’s parents?”

 

“Not yet. It only happened during the night.”

 

Jongin tries to think of what he should do. Taeoh’s parents are at the edge of the clearing, cleaning each other of the night’s grime. He has at most until mid-morning before they find out. When they do, they will come to Jongin, teeth bared. And Jongin will have no explanation for them. What explanation could he possibly give for this supernatural disappearance?

 

Elder Jung is thinking along the same lines. “You know they will blame the witch. This is the third wolf since your father’s disappearance. There is no one else who could do this without leaving a trace. You know it is magic. If this continues for too long, the pack will give into despair and think that the Moon Goddess has abandoned her people. You must solve this quickly.”

 

Jongin presses his lips together. He knows it’s magic, but he knows it’s not witch’s magic. No witch is powerful enough to steal away wolves without a trace. He can’t say that to Elder Jung though. He nods affirmatively. “Yes, I will go visit the witch now. If the pack asks tell them where I am. Hopefully that knowledge alone will provide some comfort.”

 

Elder Jung claps him on the back and smiles at him. “You are truly your father’s son. May the Moon Goddess smile on your journey.”

 

Jongin smiles back dutifully even though he can’t help the small twitch of his mouth at the blessing. “Tell Baekhyun to organize a watch. Keeping the pack working will help to keep them from falling into grief,” and with this final instruction, Jongin leaves to visit the witch.

 

 

 

 

It’s a half-day’s journey to the witch’s cabin and Jongin regrets the decision to make the walk in human form. First of all, it’s so much slower than if he were in wolf form, and second, the callouses on his paws don’t survive the shift to feet and there are too many sharp rocks. When he finally gets there, the bottom of his feet are going to be black and blue. But he treks on and is eventually rewarded with the sight of a cabin.

 

It’s incredibly simple even by wolf standards. It’s stacked logs that have been worn smooth by the elements and a simple thatched roof that’s probably been enchanted to keep out the elements. There are two windows that are firmly shuttered with a plain oak door in the middle. To set the scene of a simple woodcutter, there’s an axe buried in a stump and a small pile of wood next to it.

 

Jongin knocks heavily on the door twice. It’s silent on the other side, but Jongin knows that Kyungsoo’s probably trying to cover any sign of magic before opening the door to what he thinks is some human villager. Jongin smiles goofily as he imagines Kyungsoo rolling out his hideous rug to cover the spell circle.

 

The door creaks open slowly, and Kyungsoo just barely stands in view for one eye to be seen. It takes only a second for him to see Jongin before smiling broadly and throwing the door open.

 

“Jongin! It’s been ages since you’ve come to visit.” Kyungsoo opens his arms for a hug and Jongin steps forward eagerly to meet him, practically purring at the way Kyungsoo’s arms wrap around him and the way Kyungsoo nestles into his chest. Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo and drops his head so he can nuzzle against Kyungsoo’s hair. They hold each other like that for a few minutes until Kyungsoo steps back with an embarrassed cough.

 

“We should probably get inside. It’s not safe outside.” Kyungsoo steps back to allow Jongin in, and once he’s firmly latched the door close, he turns around and waves a hand. The room, which had been modestly decorated with a garishly bright red and yellow rug, a table with two chairs, a bookshelf, and a bed, seems to begin buzzing. In the far back corner, Jongin can see the air quivering, but it’s not just the air, that entire corner is quivering and buzzing. It grows until it’s almost deafening and then the quivering corner sucks away the room and itself until it’s like it was never there.

 

The room now is a true witch’s room. A huge spell circle with the symbol of the Sun Goddess, Kyungsoo’s patron, takes up a majority of the room with three bookshelves crammed with spell books and papers are shoved to the left side along with a simple pine bed. On the right side, similarly shoved away, is a table with a single chair holding an empty plate, and a now cold kettle and mug. Jongin hadn’t noticed it at first, but the room that had been magicked away had been devoid of any scent, and Jongin can’t help but preen as Kyungsoo’s scent rushes in.

 

“I thought you were only supposed to use magic to help people,” Jongin jokes. Even Jongin knows it’s an outdated rule among witches to only use magic for other people.

 

Kyungsoo goes over to the kettle and places a hand against it, magicking it warm. He twirls a finger and another mug falls from a small quiver onto the table. “That was the rule until they started trying to burn us at the stake. Besides I’m 4,300 years old. I deserve to use magic whenever I want. What kind of tea do you want?”

 

“Peppermint please.” Jongin steps around the spell circle and sits in the chair, angling himself so that Kyungsoo’s fully in view.

 

Kyungsoo nods and pulls out a small pouch from a box under the table and drops it in the cup. He pours the water into the two cups and magicks up another chair for himself. He takes a seat, eyes bright with excitement as he takes in Jongin. He can’t help but reach across, take Jongin’s hands and squeeze them quickly before drawing them back into his lap. “How are you? I don’t think I’ve seen you since your presentation ceremony. That was what? 47 years ago?”

 

Jongin can’t help the guilt that flashes through him. He knows that he’s the only one that visits Kyungsoo. He should have come to visit sooner. He wants to tell Kyungsoo that he doesn’t need a reason to come visit him. It’s something he had said multiple times when he was younger, but now he’s the Alpha of his pack, and he must put his pack first.

 

“We have had a series of disappearances starting with my father and just last night a pup disappeared without a trace. He marks the fourth disappearance.”

 

“And your pack thinks it’s my doing,” Kyungsoo finishes. He twirls a finger and the tea bag is sucked into oblivion. His face is neutral. He’s lived for a long time. He’s very used to people believing he’s the devil himself. He looks up at Jongin with cool brown eyes. “But you know as well as I do that it’s not me.”

 

Jongin nods slowly, eyes downcast. “Yes, I was wondering if you could take me to them.”

 

“Yes, I noticed that she put them closer to the human village. Would you like to finish your tea first or go now?”

 

“The sooner the better, I think.”

 

“Alright then, let’s go. It’s a bit of a walk, but before we go, since there is a chance we’ll run into the villagers, you need to put on pants and a shirt. I think I have some in the trunk.” Kyungsoo mumbles to himself, walking across the room to his bed. He pulls out a trunk and begins rifling through it. He pulls out a pair of brown trousers, a white shirt, and a vest. “How far has fashion developed? Does he need the vest? Are they using cravats now or is that a gentry thing? Have they developed a gentry class? Let’s go no cravat, but we’ll do the vest. Wait, he’s definitely going to need boots.” Kyungsoo mutters as he rifles through the trunk.

 

Jongin frowns and looks down at himself. He’s not wearing anything, but wolves never wear anything, and Kyungsoo never says anything about his nakedness. He doesn’t want to wear clothes. “I don’t want to wear clothes.”

 

Kyungsoo successfully pulls out a pair of hunting boots from under his clothes. “It’s a precautionary measure. Besides the human body isn’t meant to be naked in the forest. I bet the bottoms of your feet are severely bruised from walking over here. Socks!” Kyungsoo grabs a pair and sets them next to the boots. He does an once-over of Jongin before looking back in the trunk. “Underwear.”

 

“No underwear,” Jongin pleads. He’s fine with boots because his feet are bruised and the pants and shirt are loose fitting, but underwear is constricting.

 

“Jongin, this really isn’t up for debate. We’re going really near a human village. You have to look as human as possible especially since your eyes are decidedly not human eyes.”

 

“They’re not that bad.” It’s not like he has cat eyes.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t even look up from the trunk. “Your irises are too big, you hardly have any of the whites of your eyes showing, and they’re practically yellow. They don’t pass as human at all. Humans haven’t developed sunglasses yet which is a shame. Oh well, we’ll cover them with your hair. It’s gotten so long.”

 

Jongin’s hair falls to the bottom of his ribs. It’s just another reason for him to hate his human form. It gets in the way and doesn’t keep him warm at all. He really has no use for it. He twirls it around his finger as he watches Kyungsoo collect all of the clothes. He has a lot of them and they’re all going on Jongin. Jongin frowns, but takes them anyway. Kyungsoo knows humans a lot better than he does.

 

Kyungsoo smiles at him before turning around to give him some privacy.

 

“You don’t have to turn around,” Jongin says slipping on the shirt. It fits well, too well for it to also be Kyungsoo’s, who is not nearly as broad as Jongin. Kyungsoo must have enchanted them.

 

“Humans are very modest people. They don’t watch each other change.”

 

“Neither of us is human.”

 

“I’m a quarter human and it’s good for me to practice their customs. In the past decade, I’ve had more humans knock on my door than I’ve had in my entire life.”

 

Jongin doesn’t reply. Kyungsoo’s articulated a very real fear of Jongin’s. In the past 10 years, the pack has had to move further into the forest to avoid the humans. As a species, they’re advancing very rapidly. Within Jongin’s lifetime, as a pack, they will have to decide what to do about the humans.

 

Jongin tugs on his last boot and stands up. He hates how covered he is. “Okay, I’m dressed.”

 

Kyungsoo turns around and coos. “You’re so cute.” He runs his hands down the shirt to smooth out the wrinkles. His hands linger at Jongin’s waist as he smiles brightly up at him. “This looks good. If we run into humans, I think we’ll be fine.” He steps back, “Come on. Let’s go.”

 

 

 

 

It’s a two-hour walk and it’s mostly silent. On one hand, it’s a somber trip. Jongin has no idea what to expect. He’s heard stories, but he’s never seen it. Kyungsoo’s face, as expected, reveals nothing, but Jongin knows this isn’t his first time witnessing the curse. But on the other hand, Jongin’s extremely happy to share this trip with Kyungsoo. He can’t help but feel relaxed being next to the smaller man. The conflicting feelings of how he should feel and how he is feeling render him silent on the trip as he tries to keep his pack in the forefront of his mind.

 

He’s managed to somewhat keep his mind on the objective when Kyungsoo says, “We’re here.”

 

Jongin looks up, startled from his thoughts, and freezes. His mind can’t comprehend what he’s seeing.

 

20 feet from the tree line are four trees arranged in an X. They’re trees, but they’re so different. Jongin’s pack has always been forest wolves, so the whole pack has fur that’s a mottled brown and grey. It’s meant to be camouflage, so it’s not that different from actual tree bark. Jongin stares at one of the trees for what feels like forever, trying to figure out what bothers him. The bark looks fine even though Jongin knows it’s wolf fur, but something is more obviously wrong.

 

“Get closer,” Kyungsoo commands softly.

 

Jongin obeys and moves in until he’s only a few inches from the tree. He can’t hold his gasp in. The bark is cracked red. Jongin leans closer. “It’s blood.” He touches the tree softly and looks up. It’s tall and thick with long scraggly arms that reach up to the sky. _The moon,_ Jongin thinks. The bloodlines run all the way up the tree. Jongin’s eyes flit to a bigger patch of red about halfway up. Jongin feels nausea well up in his throat when he realizes that not only is the blood moving, it’s pulsing in an eerily flesh-like way.

 

“What?”

 

Kyungsoo moves up next to him. “They’ve technically shifted, so they’re not trees at all. The only similarity is the shape. The inside is blood and bone and organ.”

 

Jongin wrenches his hand away from the tree in horror. “The cracks—”

 

“—Are wounds. They’re screaming.”

 

“They’re cognizant?”

 

Kyungsoo nods, “Extremely. This is a punishment, Jongin. She demands you suffer.”

 

“How much suffering?” Jongin’s scared for the answer, but he has to know. As the Alpha, he needs to know how much his pack is suffering.

 

Kyungsoo’s silent, and Jongin’s about to ask him again when Kyungsoo answers. Jongin feels the hesitation in his voice like a punch to the gut. “You know the pain of a shift between wolf and human. The anatomies aren’t similar and that’s what causes the pain in the shift. But the differences between a wolf and a tree are even greater, practically non-existent. Since the differences are so great, I would imagine it’s like they’re stuck mid-shift since no magic, not even goddess magic, could make the wolf anatomy similar to a tree.”

 

“And she always does this?” Jongin, as horrified as he is, can’t look away from the trees. This is his pack.

 

Kyungsoo hesitates again. Jongin looks down at him. Kyungsoo looks extremely reluctant to speak.

 

“What?”

 

Jongin watches Kyungsoo’s eyes dart around as he thinks of what to say. Kyungsoo’s one of the older witches, but even he’s young in terms of the curse. Kyungsoo breathes out heavily and whips his head to look Jongin straight in the eye. He’s done thinking, and it shows in his matter-of-fact speech.

 

“This is the 7thcycle of the curse. I’ve read the records of the witch who was the previous witness to this, and it was extremely similar if not the same as the previous 3 cycles I have witnessed. The cycle begins and continues until 9 wolves from each pack have been turned and then it ends and, of course, begins again 1000 years later. Now I didn’t know this until you told me, but it’s extremely unusual that your father, the alpha of the pack, was the first victim. Every cycle before this, the alpha ends the cycle. Your alpha started it.” Kyungsoo pauses here and pokes his tongue against his cheek. Against his better judgment, Jongin can’t help but think that the action is cute. He mentally chides himself and waits for Kyungsoo to continue. Kyungsoo eventually sucks his teeth and continues.

 

“It doesn’t bode well that the Moon Goddess is starting with what she usually ends. It’s incredibly essential that the alpha is the last one to be taken. Because the pack mentality is so strong, and emotions are usually shared, to take the leader from the pack is the ultimate punishment. She started with it and my guess is that the 9thbody will be you. I can think of no worse punishment than to take two leaders from a pack in such a short time. The pack would be destroyed.”

 

Kyungsoo’s giving Jongin a lot of information, so the realization that he will probably be one of the trees doesn’t immediately shatter him. His mind is too focused on Kyungsoo’s last statement. _His pack would be destroyed_. Jongin can’t let that happen. He’s the Alpha.

 

“Why?”

 

Kyungsoo looks past the trees to where smoke is escaping into the sky from the human village barely a mile away. “Oh dear.” He turns his head in Jongin’s direction, eyes still firmly on the smoke. “Do you know the beginning of the curse?”

 

Jongin tries to think about the question. Knowledge of the curse itself is passed down from alpha to alpha, the information deemed too horrible to share with the pack, but the information passed down is very vague. It’s a punishment from the Moon Goddess for something his ancestors did. What they did wrong, though, is something that’s been lost to time.

 

He shakes his head.

 

Kyungsoo nods. “Right, right. She wouldn’t tell you. The Moon Goddess did tell the Fae and the Fae pass it down to their children. It’s used as a warning for what happens when you don’t revere the Moon Goddess.”

 

“What did we do?”

 

“The Moon Goddess is the patron of those who worship the moon, namely the wolves and the Fae. The Sun Goddess is the patron of those who worship the sun, namely the humans, and the Earth Goddess is the guardian of all.

 

“The Moon and the Sun Goddess have fought against each other for millennia while the Earth Goddess can only helplessly protect her creatures from their wrath. Their battles are the bedtime stories told to the Fae since their infancy. Now many moons ago, the Fae, who experience an increase in power on the night of the blood moon, imparted some of their power upon the wolf so that it would shift into a human. The Fae did this for no other reason than to anger the Moon Goddess by turning her children into her enemy’s children and for their own mischievous purposes. But unknown to the Fae at the time, the magic of a blood moon is much more potent and the wolves kept the ability to shift.

 

“Angry, the Moon Goddess attempted to take the magic back, but the wolves begged and pleaded to the Goddess to let them keep the ability. She didn’t relent until the Earth Goddess herself interceded on behalf of them. She couldn’t stand to see them so distraught. The Moon Goddess agreed to her sister’s plea, but only if the wolves continued to worship her. Thoughtlessly, the wolves agreed.

 

“The Moon Goddess imbued them with her own magic so that the ability to shift would pass down through the generations. But in giving the ability permanently, she made sure that the wolves would prefer their original form to the human form. The shift was made painful, the call of the moon was made irresistible, and the wolf form was made more powerful. But the Moon Goddess was still angry that the wolf form was not enough for you, and so she cast the curse. 9 wolves from each pack every 1000 years to punish the wolves for their greed.”

 

Jongin listens to the story carefully. Not only is this the reason for the curse, it’s the history of the Weir Wolf. He’s got to be the first wolf in at least 12 generations to know the truth. He doesn’t feel special because of that fact.

 

“Your father came to me 12 years ago,” Kyungsoo continues on. “He asked me to teach him about humans. When I asked him why, he said he was afraid that the wolves would go extinct unless they learned to live among the humans. I believe that made the Moon Goddess extremely angry since to live among humans means to be human. It’d be the worst treachery in her eyes. I believe that’s why she has changed the curse now.”

 

Jongin doesn’t say anything because there’s nothing to say. His pack has angered their patron, their mother, the Queen of the Night herself, and Jongin will die for the fact as will the pack. They will be nothing by the next moon. His pack will be nothing.

 

“What do we do?” The answer seems to fall flat in the somber silence. Jongin can’t help the despair that floats along with it. He’s just become the Alpha and already he’s failed.

 

Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin with those big eyes of his. “There are very few options, and even fewer which will be successful. All of them will end in your death.”

 

Jongin can’t help but let out a harsh laugh. “I’m dead regardless. At the very least, maybe I can save my pack. They’re all that matters.”

 

Kyungsoo smiles softly. “Of course. A wolf is nothing without his pack, and I would never wish that fate upon anyone. I’ll help you the best way that I can, but even I am powerless compared to the Moon Goddess.”

 

Jongin wants to cry. The most powerful being he knows can’t do anything to save his pack. Already the entire endeavor seems hopeless, but Jongin is the Alpha and his first priority is always the pack. Even if there’s only a sliver of hope left, he must do whatever he can to save them. So it’s with a deep breath that he looks Kyungsoo straight in the eye and replies, “I’ll do anything.”

 

Kyungsoo nods solemnly. “Then we must visit the Fae.”

 

 

 

 

“Why can’t we teleport in?” Jongin whines after their fifth hour of trekking through the forest. Kyungsoo had been adamant about using the front entrance into Faerieland, so now they have to traverse the entire forest to find the weeping willow by the secret lake that only sometimes reveals itself to non-Fae.

 

“My magic is gifted to me by the Sun Goddess. Using Sun Goddess magic to transport into the Realm of the Moon Goddess’ children is asking to be killed.”

 

“But you’re ¾ fae!” Jongin whines. The longer they walk, the more he sweats, and all of the human clothing is starting to stick uncomfortably to him. Not to mention this is the longest that he’s ever been in human form, and it’s starting to show. His calves are visibly shaking and his skin is starting to turn pink. His body is unconsciously starting to shift.

 

“That’s right, and the fact that I chose the Sun Goddess as my patron over my birthright is a great source of anger to Her. We walk in. No magic. We need their help and they’re more likely to give it to us if we don’t anger them.”

 

“More likely,” Jongin grumbles under his breath.

 

“They’re fickle beings, Jongin. Their purpose is to cause mischief.” Kyungsoo looks back at him just as Jongin proceeds to trip over nothing. On the floor, Jongin becomes aware that sweat practically coats his skin like oil, his breathing is so ragged to the point he’s frothing at the mouth, and his vision is blacking out around the edges. He needs to shift. His body can’t take the strain of being human anymore.

 

“Here, Jongin, take my hand,” Kyungsoo’s words suggest action on Jongin’s part, but Jongin’s not sure he can even lift a finger right now. But Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to mean that because he takes Jongin’s hand delicately in his. The difference is instant. Every pain running through Jongin’s body recedes, his vision clears, and his breathing evens out. He looks up to see Kyungsoo smiling softly at him.

 

“Since the worst of the full moon is over, I can keep the magic at bay, but only for a while. I suggest that after we finish our visit, you shift back.”

 

Jongin nods and gets up, still holding Kyungsoo’s hand. A few careful steps shows that he’s back at peak physical condition, and ready to continue walking. With a small smile at Kyungsoo, they continue walking.

 

“The Fae might not help us since they are so fickle, but I believe there are other options. Granted having the Fae help is the best scenario because it has a much more positive outcome: you living. But there are more options if you only focus on the survival of your pack. For instance, you could mate and have a cub before it’s your turn. Your pack will most likely be able to survive your death if they have your child to pin their hopes on.”

 

Jongin mulls the idea over. It’s entirely possible for him to mate before he’s taken by the Moon Goddess. The child might be resentful for the burden Jongin has placed on its back, but from what Jongin’s learned in these past hours, being the alpha is only a burden. The pack must come first. It’s the best option for the survival of the pack, and an option that should be taken regardless of whether the Fae help them or not. But he’s hesitant overall about the idea precisely because of the smaller man currently holding his hand.

 

His hesitation must show itself to Kyungsoo because Kyungsoo only replies in a small voice, “No matter what, Jongin, you will die in my lifetime and I will be destroyed regardless. It’s better for all if you mate with a wolf.”

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin starts.

 

“Jongin, please. You said it yourself. Everything you do must be for the pack.”

 

Jongin doesn’t reply, but he squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand briefly. Kyungsoo returns it and they continue walking on. The forest slowly grows thicker until Jongin can’t take a step without ducking under a branch or stepping over a root. The canopy above them grows thicker and thicker until no sunlight can get through.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whines. He just stepped in six inches of loam and for once he’s glad about the clothing. That’s not all he’s whining about though. His human form is tall, and space between the trees is becoming few and far between. Jongin won’t be surprised if they end up running into a wall of trunks with no way through.

 

“The Earth Goddess always fell in between her sisters’ arguments and so to protect the creatures on the earth, she created the thick canopies of the forest to hide them when her sisters warred against each other. Even the Fae, her sister’s creation, are granted sanctuary within her groves. At the very center of the forest is one of her guardians, a tree so old they say it’s the Goddess herself. She stretches as tall as the sky and as far as the human kingdoms, and everything under her branches is protected. This is not told, but I believe it’s because the Moon Goddess resents her sister’s interference that the taken are trees.”

 

“Why does she protect her sisters’ creatures?”

 

Kyungsoo pushes aside a tangle of vines and steps through in a clearing. It is a perfect circle of forbidding trees hiding a single weeping willow, long arms dangling over a small pond carved into the softest, greenest grass Jongin has ever seen. “This can’t be real.” Jongin can’t believe this is real. The Goddess’ are vengeful, frightening masters. They would not create a place like this.

 

“We were once all the patrons of the Earth Goddess, but the more we evolved we became, the more we looked to the sky, to what we didn’t have, and so we forgot. But she didn’t forget, she still protects us. She created this clearing to protect the Fae. Only those who mean no harm to them can find it.”

 

The clearing is both too magical and too ordinary for it to be a portal to the Fae. It’s too still, not even the green fronds laying upon the mirror surface of the water disrupt it. Jongin barely moves when Kyungsoo lets go of his hand, walks up to the edge of the pond and kneels down in front of it. He places one hand flat upon the surface. Without a ripple or sound, Kyungsoo’s hand sinks. He smiles softly. “They’re waiting for us.”

 

“What?” Jongin’s still too distracted. The sound of running water is at the very edge of his hearing and the wolf is pushing to find it. But Jongin knows it has to be magic. It is magic. This is the only clearing in the tangle of roots and branches, and the water here is still. But still the wolf demands it. Jongin can feel his legs begin to shake again.

 

“Jongin, come here, “ Kyungsoo commands softly, holding out his hand. Jongin stumbles over himself in his haste to get to Kyungsoo. The moment their hands touch, Jongin feels the wolf recede back into his being, and finds that he’s happy he can’t feel it anymore.

 

“The portal’s open. We just need to fall. Here, place your hands upon the water,” Kyungsoo brings their attached hands to the surface. Jongin tries to pull back their hands at the first touch. It’s not water. It’s definitely not water. It’s thick and it crackles underneath its still surface. Kyungsoo keeps his hand from receding too far.

 

“What is it?”

 

“It’s energy.” Kyungsoo replies pulling Jongin’s hand back to it. Jongin flinches at the first touch. It travels across their hands, tiny snaps and zaps that leave a tingling sensation in their wake. Jongin winces when Kyungsoo plunges their hands straight into it. The snaps and zaps increase with a fervor.

 

“Energy?” Jongin manages to bite out. The feeling isn’t unpleasant, but it’s unusual. The energy, or whatever it is, doesn’t end on the skin. It travels all the way through his body.

 

Kyungsoo seems entirely unaffected by the energy. “Yes. It’s what makes up the entire universe. It takes on different forms, but this portal, like most portals, is energy in its pure form. Or to put it in words you understand, this is magic in its pure form.”

 

“Magic?” Jongin asks, slowly lowering his free hand to the pool. Now that he’s somewhat used to the sensation, he finds it quite pleasurable.

 

“Magic is just the ability to manipulate energy. The more you’re able to manipulate it, the more powerful you are as a witch.”

 

“Oh,” Jongin replies. He doesn’t understand everything Kyungsoo’s saying, but he latches onto the fact that he’s touching magic. This is magic. This is what allows him to shift between human and wolf.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

“What?”

 

Kyungsoo falls forward. Jongin has no time to comprehend what’s happening as he’s pulled into the pool. He’s floating. He has to be floating because he’s staring at a million reflections of himself and only himself. He can’t even see Kyungsoo even though he still feels the reassuring pressure of Kyungsoo’s hand in his. No, it’s just him staring at himself, only at himself, in a million directions, forever and ever. There is nothing else.

 

Immediately panic starts clawing up his throat. He’s choking. He lets go of Kyungsoo’s hand to grasp at his throat and so do all the others. He can’t breathe. He’s going to die in this place only surrounded by himself. The edges of his vision begin to black out. He’s really going to die here.

 

Jongin and Kyungsoo land heavily on a section of thick grass. It does little to soften their fall. Jongin groans heavily. All five of his senses are overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of the physical world. Everything’s too much. Jongin turns his head slightly and cracks one eye open to just a slit. Kyungsoo looks like he’s in better shape, but even he’s pale and sweating. Jongin wonders if he witnessed the same phenomenon.

 

“Portal travel usually isn’t that bad, but since Faerieland isn’t part of the physical earth, it usually takes longer. The human psyche can only take being submerged in pure energy for a few seconds. Any longer and we would have been lost.”

 

“What is Faerieland then?”

 

“A warping of reality,” Kyungsoo replies. “This entire realm is enchanted to stop the flow of time, and where there’s no time, there’s no change. Your wolf is incapable of escaping your body while we’re here.”

 

Jongin nods at Kyungsoo’s explanation and pushes down the feeling of disappointment that he can’t hold Kyungsoo’s hand anymore. _The pack_ , Jongin thinks, _for the pack._ He distracts himself by looking around his surroundings. They’re at the end of a very long path bordered by trees that stretch up and out of sight. This is obviously magic.

 

Kyungsoo laughs to himself. “We’re not important enough for the Fae to meet at the entrance. We must walk. Come on.”

 

Jongin walks, dumbfounded, behind Kyungsoo. How is it that the trees are so tall that he can’t even see their tops? Is there anything beyond them?

 

“The Fae only let people see what they want them to see. We are tolerated here, but not welcome, so we have no right to see their realm. This hallway will lead directly to the Faerie Queen and nowhere else.”

 

“What is the Faerie Queen like?”

 

Jongin thinks he’s asked a simple question, but the secret smile Kyungsoo has as his eyes travel across the trees, give him reason to doubt.

 

“There is no privacy in Faerieland. And I doubt the Faerie Queen will want to know the opinion of a lowly witch. Especially one who forsook his birthright.”

 

“Ever the diplomat, aren’t you Dyo? You would have made such a good Faerie, but you were always too kind. Even now, you’re helping a child of the Moon. I hope you know nothing good will come of it.”

 

Jongin jumps back at the voice. It comes from everywhere and nowhere all at once, light and chilled. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up. This voice is anything but kind.

 

“Your Majesty,” Kyungsoo replies, voice carefully reverent. “I made a promise to help anyone who knocked on my door.”

 

“Yes, the stupid witch oath. How mundane that you must be a slave to humans. I imagine you leapt at the opportunity to help something other than one of those sniveling, weak little things. Of course, this wolf is special, isn’t he?”

 

Kyungsoo gestures to Jongin to keep walking with him down the hallway. Jongin follows silently and carefully. The voice unnerves him.

 

“Special or not, he knocked on my door. The Moon Goddess is taking her revenge, but you know that I imagine.”

 

The voice is quiet for a long time. Jongin thinks they’ve walked maybe half a mile before the voice speaks again.

 

“The Moon Goddess is our patron. We must ask for nothing and be grateful for what She gives us.”

 

Ahead of them, completely silent, two trees disappear and reveal a room. Kyungsoo walks through the opening with no fear. Jongin follows behind more slowly. _For the pack. For the pack._

The room is eerily reminiscent of the portal clearing. The tree in the center of the clearing is a Silver Birch, tall, intimidating, and ghostly white. The uppermost branches blend into the forever full moon that looms over the clearing. The unnaturally pale light of the moon shines upon a figure standing under the tree in front of another glass pond.

 

Jongin knows that this must be the Faerie Queen. They’re too ethereal not to be. A face carved from marble, two pale eyes placed delicately, a small rose mouth all juxtaposed against a sharp shock of black hair. The body is unnatural in its smoothness, not one line blemishes the body. A navy blue swath of satin wrapped tightly around the waist is the only clothing worn.

 

The Queen doesn’t move when Jongin and Kyungsoo enter, doesn’t even blink. Kyungsoo bows before the Queen. “Your Majesty, I am happy to see you well.”

 

“I will never be anything but well, Dyo. State your business and leave. The Goddess is already angry that I have allowed you entrance here.”

 

“I wish to exchange my magic and patronage to the Sun Goddess for the end of the curse placed upon the wolf pack,” Kyungsoo answers immediately.

 

Jongin starts at the answer. This isn’t what he wanted at all. He moves forward to interject, but Kyungsoo’s nails dig into his arm. It’s a clear command. _Wait._

The Faerie Queen smiles patronizingly, “The Moon Goddess has no interest in the magic of a traitor. You made your choice.”

 

“Is there anything I can offer the Moon Goddess?”

 

“Like I said, the Moon Goddess has no interest in a traitor. If the wolf wishes to save his pack, he must offer the Moon Goddess something.”

 

Jongin takes a step forward. The Faerie Queen is right. It is his pack at stake. He is the alpha. He needs to be the one to save them. This isn’t Kyungsoo’s fight.

 

“What does the Moon Goddess want from me?”

 

“Your magic. If you agree, no wolf will be able to shift again.”

 

Jongin stills. No wolf will be able to shift again? Jongin knows only of the existence of the two packs beyond the mountain range, but he knows more must exist. If he decides to give the magic back then he’s making a decision for every Weir Wolf in the world. He can’t just decide for the entire species of Weir Wolves. He’s not even qualified to decide for his own pack. Sure, his pack prefers their wolf form, but what about when there’s a drought and animals are scarce? They rely on their human forms to allow for them to find new sources of sustenance and to protect them from the ever-growing threat of humanity. Jongin may very well be dooming his pack the moment he agrees. But they’ll die if he doesn’t do anything either.

 

“But they will live,” Jongin states.

 

“But they will live,” The Faerie Queen agrees.

 

Jongin doesn’t reply right away even though the answer is obvious. There’s only one option where his pack has even a chance of surviving, no matter how bleak that chance is.

 

“Then I offer the ability to shift back to the Moon Goddess. We offer it to her wholeheartedly.” Jongin doesn’t hesitate in his words. The matter’s decided. There’s no question. He’ll offer any and everything if it means his pack survives.

 

The Faerie Queen smiles again, but this one is cold. Jongin feels its power. The Moon Goddess’ smile is malicious.

 

The Moon Goddess’ voice is terrible and beautiful. “How noble of you. You are not the first wolf to come to me to ask for the end of the curse. Every time a wolf is taken, an alpha will come to visit me, but they never agree to all of my terms. ”

 

“All your terms?” Jongin asks, voice slightly peaked. He didn’t even think to ask if the Moon Goddess would ask more of him. What will she ask for? His death?

 

“When the full moon runs red, you must leave your pack to live as a human until the end of your days. You will no longer be a wolf nor in a pack, but most importantly you will not be my child. If you even so much as try to approach your pack, they will run blind with rage and attack you. I have no interest in those who try to defy me, young one. I am the Moon Goddess and my power is absolute. My commands are absolute. Your first priority should not be the pack; it should be me. For that treason, you must suffer.

 

“These are the full terms. None of the alphas before you were willing to give up their pack. It’s your family after all. No wolf can live without their pack.”

 

Jongin feels his heart shatter. He must leave his pack, his family? The wolves he grew up around, played with, hunted with? He must leave them and live as a human? A weak, little human with their short, little lives? With no family?

 

As if sensing his thoughts, the Moon Goddess, with cruel delight, says, “To let you die would be a mercy. You will walk this earth, an outcast to every creature of the moon. You will never be apart of a family. You will never bond. Is that agreeable to you, little alpha?” This question prompts a sneer to mar the face of the Moon Goddess.

 

It’s the epithet of alpha that makes him understands. He isn’t Jongin. He is the alpha, and his first priority, the survival of the pack, is the most important thing. What he wants on a personal level means nothing. He nods.

 

“Of course.”

 

The Moon Goddess smiles wickedly. “How noble of you,” she repeats. “Just like your father. He hoped to coexist with the humans to save the pack. At least you’re smarter and came to your mother to ask for help. He was a traitor. The humans are weak. They can’t help you.”

 

Jongin feels himself bristle at the injustice said about his father, but Kyungsoo steps in front of him slightly. He bows before the Moon Goddess.

 

“Thank you, Goddess. Your mercy towards your children is truly appreciated. I am sure the wolves will continue to worship you for eons more.”

 

The Moon Goddess titters. “Always the diplomat, Dyo. You are wasted under my sister. Now leave. There is nothing else to say.”

 

The Moon Goddess snaps and the world is sucked away leaving Kyungsoo and Jongin in front of Kyungsoo’s hut. Kyungsoo looks around unimpressed. “How fickle she is,” he comments drily. He turns towards Jongin. “Are you alright?”

 

Jongin nods dumbly. So much has happened within a day. Within 24 hours he’s lost his pack, but he’s saved them. There’s a war within him and he doesn’t think it will ever end. His family. He’s lost his family.

 

Kyungsoo takes his hand. “I know things seem hopeless, but you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are the alpha and you’ve saved your pack.”

 

“My pack, Kyungsoo. I’ve lost my family.”

 

“They would be dead without you, Jongin. These are the sacrifices we make for our family.”

 

Jongin sighs heavily. Kyungsoo’s right. It was quite literally him or them. He had no choice. “But what do I do? Do I leave them now? Do I go live in a human village?”

 

Kyungsoo takes Jongin’s other hand and clasps both of them between his own. “The blood moon happens once every 100 years. You have time left to spend with pack. The bonds of family are stronger than the Moon Goddess thinks. They will always be your family. You can still protect them. You have time to mate and produce a pup and give your pack a new alpha.”

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whispers softly. The witch isn’t looking at him any more, but his grip on Jongin’s hand increases.

 

“You are still the alpha. Your first priority is your pack.” Kyungsoo’s voice is strong even though his hands tremble around Jongin’s.

 

“One day I will not be the alpha. I’ll come to you. Please wait for me.”

 

Kyungsoo smiles up at him. He brings Jongin’s hands up to his lips. “I have waited a long time for you, Jongin, and I will continue to wait for you. But right now, you are the alpha and your priority is your pack.”

 

“Kyung—”, Jongin tries to say, but Kyungsoo pushes him back and Jongin hears the buzzing grow while he falls until it pops and he’s on the floor of the forest where he transformed. Less than 30 paces away is the clearing where his pack resides.

 

Jongin lets himself lie there for a minute before he forces himself to get up. His pack needs him.

 

 

 

 

 

Jongin can feel himself relax when he sees the blood moon rise up. His pack has been antsy all day. The blood moon beckons them to run and hunt. Even the elders, who the moon rarely affects anymore, are showing signs of effect. They paw the ground as restlessly as the pups. Tonight is when the wolf is closest to the Moon Goddess. And Jongin feels nothing. The blood moon has no effect on him.

 

It’s time.

 

Jongin doesn’t bother saying goodbye. His pack will forget him soon enough. The flesh-and-blood is the alpha of the wolf pack.

 

Jongin slinks off into the underbrush and away from his pack. He only gets a few paces away before the transformation starts. It’s instantaneous. There’s no pain in this transformation. This isn’t the punishment.

 

Behind him, the wolves howl up to their benefactor: the lovely Moon Goddess who protects her kind.

 

Jongin’s human form is older. He’s weaker. Everything is weaker. His eyes are different. They’re human now. Jongin wonders what color they are. Wonders if his pack has already forgotten him and wonders if he made the right choice. He makes himself walk. The choice has been made. No turning back now.

 

The walk is easy. Jongin knows the way instinctively. The closer he gets, the more the heaviness of his choice dissipates until it’s just a small corner of his heart that remains heavy.

 

The cabin is the same. The same shutters, the same axe in the stump, the same heavy door. Jongin knocks twice. There’s silence on the inside, but Jongin knows to wait.  The door creaks slowly open and one brown eye peers out. It blinks once before the door opens quickly and Kyungsoo throws himself into Jongin’s arms.

 

“Jongin, you’re home!”


End file.
